insanity pause

contrary to the words of dr. thurston, i am not able to resume the insanity immediately after surgery.

10 days, then i should be able to start all over again. ugh.

3 steps forward, 2 steps back

even though i haven't been posting updates on my 2 months of torture, i'm still doing it.

month 2 is a whipping and i'm slightly injured, so i've reverted back to month 1. during max cardio plyo, i crushed my ankle, jammed my thumb and twisted my wrist. i'm in agony just typing this (well, sort of). taking the dog for a stroll is more work than it should be. and i can forget about wearing my sexy, cfm shoes.

so i'm back to the month 1 workouts -- 41 minute cardio power and 38 minute pure cardio accomplished in the last two days. i refuse to give up. i need abs of steel (for what purpose, i have no clue). i just know that i need them, like i need a new pair of fall boots.

digging deeper and loathing it.

tricia

its personal

working out is such a personal thing. its a battle of mind over mind, right? i don't want to work out - most people don't. it hurts. hardly anyone sees immediate results. and that's what we all want, right? i know i want to see a weight loss of 5 lbs. in a week. not gonna happen. working out is persistence. you have to. really. want. it. that's why so many people are unhealthy and overweight. don't get me wrong - i'm not a health nut -- i eat like a caveman. i like everything that's wrong for you. but there's no quick fix.

i was at the dr. today and discovered that i'd GAINED 3 pounds. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE????????  i feel like i've been literally working my ass off for 7 weeks. and i know i don't eat right. but i've never eaten right and have only been working out half this hard (FOREVER) and have always been this weight. right now, i'm seriously pissed. but you won't ever get anywhere unless you work for it. i'm working for it. and i better see some f&cking results at some point or i'm going to hunt shaun t. down and make him fat.

i fell off the wagon

for 3 whole days i ignored the quiet urgings of shaun t to get back on the horse of insanity. and it felt so good to be a loafer. i think i may have needed that recovery week. 

yesterday i finally succumbed to his insistent abs (yes, they can talk - like barry white) and did the max plyometric workout. today was max conditioning day. i'm still in a maximum amount of pain, but its becoming cathartic. if it works and i successfully change the landscape of my body in 60 days (while consuming substantial quantities of alcohol, grease and salt), it will be a lesson in persistence (and a mini-miracle). if you think about it, why aren't more people doing this? (i've obviously been drinking the kool-aid). realistically, its only 60 minutes a day (at the most) for 60 days. 

my new mantra is "get your lazy ass up off the couch and leap about the living room until you pass out" (too long?)

feeling leaner by the day. now if i could just get rid of this margarita gut.

tricia

breakfast with shaun t.

yes, i'm still doing it. i took saturday off to spend with my livestrong elliptical; sunday was max conditioning; monday - max recovery and today was the max interval circuit AGAIN (this one, i hate - my body cannot leap off the floor then get down into a push up that quickly). the recovery day is by far my favorite.

my new shoes arrived today - yay! i had been rotating between reebok running shoes and nike free running shoes. both gave me blisters and the nike frees had me slipping on the wood floor in puddles of sweat. these are new balance minimus trail running shoes and they're brilliant. hopefully they won't do me wrong.

i'm just not feeling the funny today. but the insanity disclaimer is amusing: INSANITY is an extreme and physically demanding workout. this is NOT for beginners or individuals with any medical condition that may be compromised by extreme cardio and strength exercise. Consult your physician and read the enclosed materials before beginning this program. 

isn't "insanity" a medical condition itself? this disclaimer makes me think perhaps i should not be doing it. i can barely lift my arms above my head; i even hurt when i'm sleeping.

today i'm the grumpy dwarf.

dear shaun t.

i'm sorry i stood you up today. but you hurt me -- bad. all this planking you want me to do is tawdry and indecent. and the one-armed plank push-up? just tasteless. the position that truly pushed me over the limit was the "low squat speed bag". i think that may even be illegal in some states.

full disclosure - i had a sweat session in the bedroom with my old boyfriend lance armstrong today. his abs may not be a match for yours, but his rotating legs of steel . . . he knows what gentle moves a girl needs sometimes.

tomorrow, if you ask real nice (shirtless, of course), i may consent to a short 59 minutes of 'conditioning'. if you lose your shorts, i'm definitely in.

t.

month 2 - i'd like to plank punch shaun t in the face

month 2 of the insanity workout has begun and i may not survive.

this is supposed to be the 'recovery week' but i figure that's too long to slack off. i REALLY like to eat, so i can't spend the week luxuriating in recovery mode when there are french fries to be eaten somewhere.

i performed (yes, it was quite the performance) the cardio recovery workout yesterday; it did made me sweat and i was sore this morning in strange places (the bedroom, my torso, etc). but i'm a glutton and consumed the following yesterday (this is not a lie).

4 belvita (these are the greatest excuse for a junk food breakfast ever)
3 slices of cheese with an unknown number of crackers
1/4 of a leftover steak (which i shared with the dog), so it was about 4 bites
7 buffalo wings (the dangerous frozen bite-size kind)
4 hershey's "nuggets" (which are also bite-sized; also shared with the dog)
2 glasses of wine (not shared with the dog)
1 handful of ruffles potato chips (shared with the dog - maybe she should do insanity too)
i did NOT partake in any peanut butter shenanigans (although that sounds pretty good right now)

considering yesterday's excessive consumption of grease, salt, chocolate and carbs, i figured i better begin month 2 pronto. today's workout was "max interval circuit". holy moses. it was 59 WHOLE MINUTES. currently my muscles feel like jello (which also sounds pretty good right now).

i may truly need that entire week of recovery after all.

tomorrow is some other max cardio torture plyo bullsh*t. which i'll definitely do if i can lift my tender tush out of bed.

t.

lingering insanity - day 31

jeff thinks i'm fat:

i finally completed the first 30 days of the insanity workout. i have the set of 5 dvd's (that comprise the 30 days of hell) on-loan from my svelte friend carolyn. the dvd's were accompanied by this stupid, mocking calendar in which you are supposed to check off each day as you complete the workout. since my calendar of madness was full of checked boxes and i was basically finished with the dvd's, i figured i could just start over and do them in whatever order strikes my fancy each day.

oh but no -- jeff thought it best to buy me the complete 60 day set. exactly how should i interpret this? perhaps a surreptitious suggestion that mr. sanders should join in the lunacy? the new set comes with another f'ing calendar, some ridiculousness called "elite nutrition" and a brochure of young, fit people smiling (without beers in their hands). the elite recipes in the healthy eating guide are (not surprisingly) devoid of chocolate covered marshmallows, deep dish pizza, steak fries and anything that contains more than a tablespoon of peanut butter.

luckily i have already finished today's workout (pure cardio and cardio abs), so i don't have to take a second look at this rubbish until tomorrow. technically this is my recovery week which consists only of "core cardio and balance" (which sounds fairly easy, but probably isn't).

onward to the next 30 days of shaun t's insane abs.

tricia

p.s. the postman just delivered the mail, and each piece is covered in sweat.